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Share a Joke for a Chance to Win the New Book, Total Customer Experience

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Portrait by Wes Naman

My new book, TCE - Total Customer Experience: Building Business through Customer-Centric Measurement and Analytics, is now available on Amazon.com.  The book, available in both a Kindle edition and paperback, contains research-supported insights on the proper use of customer-centric measurement and analytics that will help businesses improve the customer experience and increase customer loyalty.

I am offering a free pdf version of the book, TCE: Total Customer Experience, to 10 people who submit the funniest jokes or stories.

Contest Rules

Submission deadline is May 12, 2013 at midnight. Jokes/Funny stories get more credit if they are customer-related. You can submit as many jokes as you want. Submissions can be G- to R-rated. I won't be offended. Be as irreverent as you want. I will be the sole judge of each story's funniness. I will share all winning jokes (if they are G-rated) on May 20, 2013.

If the submitted joke is yours, that's cool. If it's somebody else's joke, that's okay, too, but at least give the originator of the joke some credit.

Submit your joke / funny story >>

About the Book

tcethebookfinalsmallfrontpageamazonratingBusinesses that get a better handle on their business data through proper analytics outperform businesses that do not. To gain value from these, large, quickly expanding, diverse data, businesses need to apply the right analytics to the right metrics to help manage their business. When trying to understand the customer experience and its importance, businesses need to think more critically about what they measure and how they use their data. TCE: Total Customer Experience helps businesses improve how they measure customer variables and shows how to combine disparate sources of business data and apply analytics to gain deeper insights about the causes and consequences of customer loyalty.

The book includes an exclusive case study on Oracle's customer experience management (CEM) program. From Strategy and Governance to Reporting and Research, Oracle shares how they structure their CEM program. For the first time, Oracle reveals some compelling results of their CEM program regarding improvements in the customer experience and increases in customer loyalty. In all, the book includes 36 chapters on customer experience management. They are:

  • Section 1: The 30,000 ft View
    • An Overview of CEM, Analytics and TCE
  • Section 2: Strategy and Governance
    • Best Practices in Strategy and Governance
    • Creating your Culture
    • It’s about People and Processes
    • Data, Decisions and Biases
  • Section 3: Business Integration
    • Best Practices in Business Integration
    • Big Data in Customer Experience Management
    • Analyzing Business Data Using a Customer-Centric Approach
    • Linking Financial and Customer Metrics
    • Linking Operational and Customer Metrics
    • Linking Constituency and Customer Metrics
  • Section 4: Method and Reporting
    • Best Practices in Method and Reporting
    • Four Criteria for your Customer Metric
    • Clarifying Customer Loyalty
    • Customer Loyalty Measurement Framework
    • Measuring Customer Loyalty
    • Measuring Customer Loyalty in Non-Competitive Environments
    • Measuring the Customer Experience
    • Measuring Your Relative Performance
    • Your Optimal Customer Relationship Survey
    • Summarizing your Metric: Mean or Net Score?
    • The Problems with the Net Promoter Score
    • Simplifying Loyalty Driver Analysis
    • Using Word Clouds
  • Section 5: Applied Research
    • Best Practices in Applied Research
    • Assessing the Reliability of your CEM Program
    • Assessing the Validity of your CEM Program
    • How Oracle Uses Big Data to Improve the Customer Experience
    • The Importance of Customer Experience is Overinflated
  • Section 6: Extra
    • Don’t Forget about Product Quality
    • Three CEM Tips for Startups
    • Patient Experience in US Hospitals
    • Battling Misinformation
    • Customer Experience Management at Oracle
    • Assessing your CEM Program
    • Additional Readings

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